7 Tips on Building Trust in Your Relationship

Here’s a riddle for you:

What takes years to build, and only seconds to break?

Trust! Trust is an essential part of a loving and healthy relationship, and means that you and your partner can rely on one another to be there and support one another when times get tough.

Why is trust important?

Trust is necessary for you to feel cared for, loved, and like your partner always has your back. According to licensed mental health counselor and relationship guru Jaclyn Gulotta, trust allows two partners to feel safe and comfortable in their relationship, while also maintaining healthy communication and boundaries.

As Isaac Watts once said, “learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.” Now you’ve probably heard of “trust issues” before, and you probably experience them in some capacity, but as a human being, your desire for certainty and security in relationships is entirely rooted in your genes and biology.

Where does the need to trust come from?

According to Harvard Business Review, human infants are born being highly dependent on caretakers, with newborns looking up into the eyes and face of the individual gazing at them within just one hour of birth. Within just several hours, the infant will even begin to mimic their caretaker’s expressions and movements! If that doesn’t show the need to trust, we don’t know what does.

If trusting is so innately human, then at what point does it all go wrong in our romantic relationships?

Unfortunately, trust is incredibly fragile, even when it is the foundation for the strongest relationships. Negative romantic experiences, such as being cheated on or lied to, can make it incredibly challenging to trust again. When you have your guard up, it can be much easier to stay on the defense, rather than breaking those walls down. While building trust takes time, effort, and patience, being able to trust your partner can feel incredibly liberating.

Are you unsure of where to start? Perhaps you are struggling with breaking your walls down, or you don’t know how to initiate a meaningful conversation with your partner.

No need to worry, because Great Gift Ideas has you covered with 7 expert tips on building trust in your relationship!

1. Be vulnerable and share with one another

Nothing good in life comes easy, right?

Being vulnerable and talking to your partner about your emotions can be absolutely terrifying. Trust us, we’ve been there! However, the first step to breaking down those walls is revealing your true self to your S.O. By being open and sharing something deeply personal, you are showing them that you are willing to risk it all to connect with them.

Building intimacy comes from opening up and letting your partner embrace the real you. You don’t have to start by telling them about your trauma from your past relationship, or the real winner: Your dynamic with your parents. However, you can start by telling them about something you’ve been dreaming of doing for a long time, or something you loved to do when you were a child but that you think is silly.

Opening up is also incredibly important because it will show your partner exactly who they are choosing to be with. You can’t always be the presentable, fun-loving, flirtatious, date-night-ready version of yourself. It will get messy, and we don’t just mean in the sweatpants on the couch with a ratty bun and three glasses of wine with the floor covered in tissues kind of way. You deserve to know that your partner loves you for you; even with the dark and embarrassing bits you hide in the shadows.

You’ll find that it’s really a domino effect: Once you see how much your partner appreciates your honesty about who you are, the more you will want to share!

Open up those vulnerability floodgates, baby!

2. Create positive experiences with one another

There’s one thing that can really bring you and your partner together, and it isn’t your so-called “love language” of sending each other Instagram reels or TikToks of dogs throughout the workday. The answer is new experiences and quality time!

There’s no better way of getting to know your partner and building a strong foundation than experiencing exciting moments together. When was the last time you took a risk, or tried something new? What is one thing you’ve been dying to try on that bucket list?

Make time to get to know your partner and create meaningful experiences with them. We don’t mean that you instantly need to strap on that bungee cord or that you need to jump out of a plane (although you go if that’s for you!), but it’s important to consider some engaging activities or date ideas that can bring you two together!

Consider trying something active, such as learning a new sport, or something with a competitive edge to it to introduce some playfulness or teamwork! Time is the one thing that you can’t take back, and spending it with your partner shows just how much you want to build and work on your relationship.

Furthermore, according to Cornell University researcher Thomas Gilovich, experiences can bring far more long-term satisfaction compared to material gifts and possessions.

Time is truly of the essence!

3. Commit to consistency and prioritize your promises

When it comes to trust and security, your partner needs to feel like you prioritize their needs and that you are there to catch them when they fall. Consistently showing up and showing your S.O. that they are an essential part of your life will make them feel loved and cared for, and like they can do the same for you!

When it comes to promises, we know life can get in the way. Sometimes you just really want to be there for your partner and you verbalize it, only to find out that you can’t make it happen. Try to be very careful with the promises you make and don’t commit to something that might be too challenging to follow through with!

Relationships take consistency, and consistency is the key to long-term trust. Houses don’t get built overnight, just like dreams aren’t achieved in the blink of an eye. The most meaningful things in life take time to evolve and grow, but doing something small every day makes these monumental achievements seem much more doable. Relationships are no different!

By committing to your partner every day and showing up, you can build something absolutely beautiful and rewarding.

4. Admit your mistakes when you make them

Pride is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason, and we definitely know that it can be hard to admit that you’re wrong. However, acknowledging your shortcomings or wrongdoings is actually essential and incredibly powerful in building a nurturing and loving relationship. Neither you nor your partner are perfect, and using these moments can really help you connect more.

When you acknowledge your mistakes, take responsibility for your actions, and apologize to your partner, it shows them that your relationship is more important to you than being right.

If you got distracted with work and forgot to book the restaurant you’ve been dreaming of going to for your anniversary night, don’t scramble and try to cover it up, and definitely don’t blame it on your partner. Tell them openly and see if there is a way to solve the problem together. You can often find that this leads to better outcomes and experiences down the road!

When you admit that you aren’t perfect, it makes your partner appreciate that you are trying even more. Furthermore, using these moments as opportunities to learn and grow together can be super empowering, and can prove to you and your S.O. that you can take on the world together!

5. Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt

Negative thought spirals are only human. If your S.O. doesn't answer the phone for an extra hour after work, your reality-TV-show-watching self might instantly go into “they’re cheating on me” territory. But don’t worry, this isn’t “Real Housewives!”

When you doubt your partner’s intentions and always assume the worst, it can show in the most mundane conversations and interactions. “You’re going out with the boys until what time?!” As soon as your partner feels like you don’t believe in them, they might withdraw or feel offended because it doesn’t seem that you trust them.

While this might take some active retraining for your mind, being optimistic rather than assuming the worst can help you feel liberated in your relationship. Your S.O. is a completely different person, with varying experiences and backgrounds. It is always important to clear the air and speak to them before jumping to conclusions that you might have created in your own mind. This will make your partner feel seen, heard, and believed in!

On that note, this tip and the next one go hand in hand:

6. Invest in your own growth alongside your relationship’s

We’ve all been in the “honeymoon stage.” You can’t stop thinking about your S.O., they give you butterflies, and your heart beats a little faster when you see them. You want to spend every second of every day with them, and sometimes, your other relationships start to fade into the background.

While romantic relationships are incredibly exciting and thrilling, and your dopamine and cortisol levels can give you the obsessive, ecstatic feeling of being head-over-heels for that person, it’s still important to think of yourself and the other areas of your life that nourish and complete you.

An integral part of building a healthy relationship is recognizing that, in order to grow together, you and your partner need to grow individually as well. If you’re occupied with chasing your dreams, spending time with other people you love, and investing in self-care, you are in the right headspace to be receptive and engaged when you are with your partner.

Furthermore, by spending some time apart doing things that are meaningful to you, you and your S.O. will have lots to share and learn from one another! Directing your energy towards becoming a better version of yourself will inevitably fuel the trust in your relationship, because it also shows that you want to be the best person and partner you can be!

7. A relationship is a team effort, not a competition

Duh, it’s a relation “ship.” You’re both on the same ship and ready to face the storm, aren’t you?

The truth is that, during arguments, it can be really challenging to empathize with your partner. Those walls and defenses you built fly back up, and your instincts scream that you need to emerge on top. It’s a defense mechanism, but it doesn’t serve you in the long run. Your partner is often the person you are closest to, and when you two are experiencing opposing views, you don’t want to be vulnerable because you fear pain or rejection. It’s much easier to be “right” and to prove your partner otherwise.

However, these challenging moments are the ones where you need to reach out and connect with your partner. Instead of taking your own side and being competitive, try to see how to compromise and work out a solution that takes your S.O.’s feelings into account. The strongest relationships are built on trust, respect, and partnership, and these factors are just as important when it’s not all rainbows and sunshine.

Next time, when times get tough, make an effort to show your compassion and empathy, because it will make you feel more connected to your S.O., and like you’re working on something that can truly withstand challenges and obstacles. Being sensitive to your partner’s feelings and needs will inevitably build trust because it shows that your relationship can withstand anything in the future!

Go team!

The moral of the story is that, while building trust takes consistent work, effort, and dedication, it allows for an incredibly strong relationship and feelings of security, safety, and love. Whether you try just one of these tips or all of them, remember that open communication and honesty are important. If you feel stuck, take some time to talk to your partner and gain some clarity!

Now go forth, trust the process, and most importantly, trust that you’re already making a change by reading this article!